Giving Away Book By Book at Finders & Keepers

Cindy Hudson wrote a wonderful book called Book by Book, The Complete Guide to Creating Mother-Daughter Book Clubs. I LOVE this book.

I mean, I'm not going to marry it or anything. But I love the idea behind this book. Sharing reading with children, in a book club setting, is brilliant! And Cindy thoroughly discusses all the ins and outs in her book. Which I'm giving away over at Finders & Keepers, my blog related to all things children writing and reading.

So I had to stop here, too, and let y'all know you could win if you stop in over there and leave a comment or question. Because honestly, I would marry this book if it could fix a halfway decent Sunday dinner.

ABC's of Errant Parent

I just realized that errant parent, an online site of parenting hilarity and fun, is celebrating its first year anniversary (Technically, I didn't "realize" it as much as I was sent an announcement email.). And then I realized (and technically, here, I actually did realize as a thought hit me square in the head) that I had a little something something to say about errant parent. Allow me to enumerate, using that clever A-B-C device:

A. errant parent makes me laugh out loud. And yes, I know that it's a humor publication, but not all humor makes me laugh out loud. Humor's funny that way.

B. I suggested a humor-writing friend send her stuff to errant parent and she's in this anniversary issue.

C. I am not.

D. Assuming a big, giant ball of gas doesn't fall on the earth at the exact spot where errant parent's editor resides, you'll see my contribution later. In August, I think. Now, don't go worrying. I'll toot about it (no gas pun intended).

E. If you are a parent (like me), and err on a regular basis (like me) and you can write edgy funny stuff (you thought I was going to say "like me." But I'm the humble sort. And the rejected sort-I had to work on the edgy.), you should consider submitting to this market.

F. errant parent is a paying market (Whee-whee-wheee!).

G. Support your local humor markets so they can continue to make me say Whee-whee-whee! (Oh, and by local, I mean available throughout the world on the web).

So, I believe that concludes this morning's schooling on errant parent (except for here). I kinda thought my A-B-C list would make its points using the actual letters of the alphabet, but that seemed like an awful lot of work. And then around letter D., I realized I was not going to get all the way to Z. Or even M. I'm sorry if this has caused you any distress. On the other hand, I did a whole lot of realizing today, and I feel pretty good about that.

Finding Something Friday on Market of the Month (Yeah, Finally)

What can I say about the Market of the Month?

How about...

1. It's kinda late.

2. It's an anthology looking for humorous submissions.

3. It's about Monster Mashups.

I'm a big fan of mashups (where you take two of something, like a song, and mash it together to make a whole of something). I'm a big fan of humor. And, I'm a big fan of horror. So when I saw Groanology, it spoke to me. And what it said was, "Cathy C. Hall, here's your crazy market of the month. Finally!"

Fortunately, I've got a little time on my hands to write this story. I need two monsters and a humorous plot. And I need to keep the witty words short (1200 to 3200) and turn them in by June 1st.

So, there's your Market of the Month, finally. What have you got to say?

So You Want to Write Humor? (Part Deux)

I told you I'd find that second page.

Quick and Painless Advice: Getting Humor Published in Magazines
(from the 20 tips in Mike Sacks' book, And Here's the Kicker)

19. "Most editors say they want more humor in their magazines, but not many do. What they really want is humor that they find funny and that they would write if they could, which they can't, or else there would already be humor in their magazines. Consequently, you have to adapt your sense of humor to meet their sensibilities."

(Brilliant point, Mike! But how, oh how, is the aspiring humor writer supposed to accomplish this brilliant feat? Oh, wait. There's more to this tip.)

"It's very difficult." (Point well taken, Mike.) "So if and when you find an editor who shares your sensibility, marry, adopt, imprison, or do whatever it takes to maintain that relationship. The other approach is to skip the pitch and just write it. You don't want to waste a lot of time waiting for an editor to evaluate the pitch. Just write it-either the editor will laugh or not."

So, grasshopper, (I'm segueing into What Not To Do Wednesday now), don't run around like a humor writer with his head chopped off, sending out subs with no rhyme or reason. If a market's accepted your work, or encouraged you in any way, send another piece soon thereafter. Chances are very good that you'll be accepted. It's worked for me.

Conversely, if you've sent five humorous submissions to the same market, without a single bite, you may want to hold off on submission number 6. Also um, worked for me. (It's not exactly painless or quick, but it is solid advice when it comes to getting your humor published in magazines.)

So You Want To Write Humor? (Maybe This Book Will Help)

I don't know Mike Sacks from Adam. But I got a kick out of his book, And Here's the Kicker, which is packed full of advice and interviews from well-known humor writers.

Let's see...I read a little something something from the likes of Dave Barry, and Buck Henry, and David Sedaris, and Allison Silverman, to name just a few. And you can go read a few excerpts for yourself over at the And Here's the Kicker website. Plus, you'll find all kinds of much higher-falutin' folks than me, going on and on about Mike Sacks and his wonderful book.

But you won't find some of my fave parts from the book at Mr. Sack's website. Namely, the Quick and Painless Advice for the Aspiring Humor Writer. So I hope he won't mind if I share a a few tips with y'all, every so often.

First up, a few words of wisdom from Getting Humor Published in Magazines (Okay, it's self-serving. But come on, y'all. I'm the one who read (most of) the book.)

* Do not try too hard-or even at all-to be funny in the cover letter. Jokes in the story are fine. Jokes in the pitch are not. (Woopsies)

* Writers sometimes talk about the awards they've won. Don't. (Um, woopsies, again.)

* Don't use Mr. or Mrs. (last name of the editor here). Weird. Arcane. (Wow. Now I just feel old. And I'm kinda wondering how I ever sold a single humorous thing. I'm also beginning to understand why I haven't sold all that much.)

Well, there's lots more where those came from (20, to be exact). And when I find the next page, I'll share a few from the second half of the list. As long as it's okay with Mike Sacks. Who I'm sure is a fine fellow who's won many awards (not that he'd ever mention them) for his fine book, And Here's the Kicker.

Finding Something Friday on LISTVERSE

Honestly, I intended to update the Market of the Month. And if I'm being "Catholic's Honor" honest, I've had that update on my list all week. But for whatever reason (watching the Braves, tweeting about the Braves, falling asleep on a lounge chair...well, there's no sense getting bogged down with details) I haven't quite researched Market of the Month. That doesn't mean I don't have something special for you.

I came across Listverse the other day when I saw this post "Top Ten Underrated Fantasy Stories Before 1937." As I'm rather fond of fantasy, I spent awhile reading about the great fantasy I missed, on account of me not being born yet and all. And I'll get to some of these fine works, as soon as I find them at my local library.

Meanwhile, I have a penchant for interesting trivia and lists, so I kinda hit the mother lode on Listverse! I started reading "10 Very Strange British Traditions." And where I ended up, I can't say. But it was all on the up and up. Catholic's Honor.

Tooting My Horn for Sally Dog (and the Artsy Ruth!)

Sally the Crazy Dog is as much a Hall as anyone else around here...and in an ironic twist, Sally may be the only Hall NOT in the dog house at the moment. But that's not why I'm tooting the horn for Sally (though it is worth a da-da!).

Sally sat still for a moment so I could take a photo of her. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Sally's a professional sleeping dog. BUT, whenever I get the camera out, she goes into action. Hence, the apt moniker: Sally the CRAZY dog.

And the reason I needed a nice, curled up photo of Sally was that my writer buddy and rock artist, Ruth, was making a rock. Not just any rock-a painted rock that looked just like Sally. I wanted Juniorest Hall to have this keepsake to take off to school.

Okay, I know it's April. But considering my track record with Juniorest Hall (the third in line), he's lucky to be getting the rock before he graduates (he's a college freshman).

And P.S., Ruth will paint just about any critter on a rock. And I think these keepsakes are perfect for seniors graduating and leaving beloved pets behind at home. So, here's a horn-toot for Ruthie's Rocks, too. Da-da-da-dada!

Oh, and P.P.S. Ann over at Ann's Rants won the Chicken Soup for the Soul's Thanks, Dad! And thank you for all those lovely comments. I wish I could send a copy to each and every one of you. But I can't. I'm too busy buying rocks. (Send me your address, Ann!)

Top Ten Reasons Why I LOVE My Library!

When Shelli Johannes-Wells asked for bloggers to sign up for her Library Appreciation Day extravaganza on April 12th, I dashed off a response saying, "Sign me up!" 'Cause I'm a HUGE fan of libraries. HUGE fan of librarians. I've had some pretty wonderful times in a library-and don't worry, library staff and friends down the street at my local library, it's all been perfectly legal.

So, as per Shelli's instructions (Write about libraries. Write anything you want!), I offer:

The Top Ten Reasons Why I LOVE my Library

10. My library has really, really, clean restrooms and they never run out of toilet paper.

9. You can sit and cool off on a scorching, hot summer afternoon after running errands all day-and all the library people just smile and nod, like they know exactly how I feel.

8. My library is 10 minutes from my house. And oh, look! There's another one, 12 minutes down the other end of the road. A two-fer my taxes!

7. They have special displays for recently-released books so that I can find what's new a whole lot quicker.

6. I can do wondrous things through the library website: research, renew books, add new books to my list, and browse through children's magazines that I can't find anywhere else! All that and more, from the comfort of my pj's.

5. The librarians can figure out what book I'm looking for when I say, "It's about this girl. And maybe a dog. Or is it a skunk?"

4. If a book is across the county at another library branch, I can add it to my list, and somehow, it'll magically appear a few days later at my library!

3. The librarians always sympathize with me when I have to pay my humongous fines.

2. All the books (and the magazines and the books on tape and I don't know what all else) are free! Free! FREE!

And the number one reason I LOVE my library:

1. It smells like books! Which is definitely on the Top Ten List of my favorite smells on earth (but that's another list for another day).

If you'd like to read what other bloggers have to say about their libraries, check out Shelli's fab Market My Words today and follow a link or two. And if you just happen to be out today, stop by your local library to say thanks to all those people who make spending time with books so wonderful (and perfectly legal)!

Finding Something Friday : A Book Spine Poem on What Else? Writing

When I saw a blogger buddy of mine's book spine poem, I knew I had to try that idea out.

Madeline, over at The Shellshank Redemption (and P.S. I LOVE that name), got the idea from one of her writer buddies, who got it from...well, you get the point. April is National Poetry Month and using book spines to write a poem is a fun way for anyone to get in on the action. So, here's what I found this Friday morning. Read the book titles, disregarding any other words on the spine:

If at First You Don't Succeed (By Cathy C. Hall and other assorted authors)



Now, it's your turn, writer buddies. What poem is waiting on your book shelf? Surprise and delight me on this lovely April morning!

Tooting My Horn Tuesday , Thanking Dad (And Chicken Soup for the Soul)

I don't think of myself as the sentimental type...maybe that Irish-German mix that runs through my blood cancels each other out. But when I opened my copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul's Thanks, Dad to read my story, I sorta, kinda sniffled.

Truly, it's not a sappy story. It's about the first car I ever bought. On my own. Because Dad wouldn't help me buy it. Even though my job was part-time and I didn't have 10 bucks to my name. I mean, c'mon. That's not a teary story.

And yet, when I think of the lessons I learned from that experience, and how my father prodded and pushed (and sometimes dragged me kicking and screaming) to be the responsible woman I am today, I'm not only full of gratitude but also love. (What is wrong with me? I'm getting a little flekempt right now.)

Then I went back to read the first story of the book, and I sorta, kinda sniffled again. Same for the next story, and the next, and the one after that. Maybe it's a Dad thing. All I know is that my Dad's getting a copy of Thanks, Dad for Father's Day. (Not the one I've been dripping tears on.)

And maybe you'd like Thanks, Dad for the dad in your life. So, leave a comment here through April 11th, and if I randomly draw your name, you can win my extra copy. (Not the one I've been dripping tears on.)

Writing and Zero Candy Bars

Now, I know what you're thinking. And no, I don't mean that fleeting thought you just had, wondering if you'll still fit into that pair of killer capris from last year after eating an Easter basket full of chocolate. (P.S. You probably won't. Go have another malted milk ball egg.)

I'm talking about the next thought you had. Namely, what does a Zero candy bar have to do with writing? Hear me out, 'cause I think I can make this work.

It all started with an innocent tweet along the lines of "why is it I always have to find a gas station to get a Zero candy bar?" As it happens, Zero is my fave candy bar. But I have to depend on a fill-up in order to come by said candy bar. In fact, a Zero just doesn't taste the same without the smell of gas fumes intermingled with the chocolatey goodness.

So, one of my writer friends tweeted back, basically saying, "Yeah, what's up with that?" LuAnn loves the Zero, too. But she lives out in the middle of nowhere (and by nowhere, I mean "Nebraska") so getting a Zero is quite the jaunt for her. She was so riled up about the situation, she wrote an email to Hershey's (Here's where a little creative writing comes in). Hershey's did not exactly share her riled-upness (I just made up a word-more creative writing!).

Then I suggested that we should start a fan page on Facebook (even more creative writing!) And LuAnn, who is much more technically proficient than I, went right to work. And that is how I WANT MY ZERO CANDY BAR (AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO FIND A GAS STATION TO GET IT) began. If you're on Facebook, and you love the Zero, then rush over and join the group. Cause the pen is mightier than the, um, just-complaining-and-not-doing-anything ploy. (See? TONS of writing going on here. In fact, I kinda outdid myself.)

April 1st, Not Just for Fools Anymore

So if you're tired of all the April Fool's shenanigans, perhaps it's time for you to move on to something a bit more highbrow. Like National Poetry Month. Which just happens to be April.

Some people (and by people, I mean writer folks) celebrate by writing a poem a day. You can zip over to the Poem-A-Day Challenge that's going on at the Poetics Aside blog and post your lovely poem. Or you can stop in at GottaBook if you're a fan of children's poetry. And if you want to win a poetry anthology, then you should drop in at Irene Latham's lovely blog to see how she makes that possible.

I've been pretty busy already, on this fine April Fool's Day, visiting and reading poetry. And now I think I'll write a little poem:

To Sally Dog (Who Was Not Feeling Well, But Now She's Much Better, Thank You)

Sally is my crazy dog.
She likes to chase the lizards.
She sleeps beneath my office chair,
And tries to steal my Blizzards.

She's always there, and underfoot.
And makes me want to holler.
But life just wouldn't be much fun,
If Sally didn't foller.

Okay, it's not exactly highbrow. But it is a poem.