Finding Something Friday: So You Think You Can Be a Proofreader (Or Editor)

Oh, I know your type, writer. You're a real whiz with grammar, know all the punctuation rules, you even know a couple of those cool proofreader marks. You've often said to yourself (particularly after being raked over the editing coals), Pooh! I could do that.

And I know this, writer, because I am that writer.

But after spending about 20 minutes taking the Society for Editors and Proofreaders Self Test, I threw in the red pen. Not so much because I didn't know what was what, proofreading-wise (though I'm not ruling out that possibilty). It was more of an eyes-glazing-over and not knowing what was what until my head slammed into the laptop and woke me up.

For crying out loud, how many times was I going to have to correct the same &*^% page?

Turns out, proofreading and editing require a ton of patience, an attention to detail, and the singular ability to find every stinking thing wrong on the page. Who knew?

Anyway, I think I'll just stick to being a writer. But you all go right ahead and give it a go.

(P.S. I think I found this link on my Writing World newsletter--you should give this site a go the next time you're looking for writing info. And to all those hard-working editors/proofreaders, I'm very, very sorry. I take all those Poohs! back.)

Wit of the Day: Groucho Marx

I love, love, LOVE used book sales! Look at all the books I picked up for just a couple bucks! One of my favorite books in the pile is that Treasury of Wit & Wisdom. Because a. I love a good witticism and b. I can use all the wisdom I can get.

Sadly, I do not always have time for wit and wisdom. But then, in what can only be called a witty and wise moment, I had a thought. I bet you like wit and wisdom, too! So I'm going to share here, on the blog; that should motivate me. Occasionally. And possibly, I'll share a bit of trivia about the person I'm quoting. Because I love, love LOVE bizarre factoids about people, too. I'm not sure why.

To wit:

"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."

~Groucho Marx

I'm pretty sure I could have used this line earlier today, trying to figure out something on the Internets. And now a few odd tidbits about Groucho. He dropped out of school at the age of 12, but wrote several books and was friends with T.S. Eliot and Carl Sandberg. He was also friendly with Elton John (though he called him John Elton). And for many years, on stage and the movies, that trademark moustache? Greasepaint.

What about you? Got a favorite Groucho Marx quote or story? Do share!

(P.S. That's a candy scarecrow necklace, propped up there, on top of the books. Though when I wore it, I felt like it was this cute, little candy person, swinging by its poor little candy neck. Ew.)

A This 'n That Tuesday (or Yay! A Market, a Publisher, and Free Books!)

So, yes, this is one of those posts where I throw stuff out there and you are free to pick and choose. Speaking of free, let's start with your opportunity to win bunches of books!



I Am a Reader, Not a Writer and I Read Banned Books are hosting this humongous Banned Books Week Hop. And when I say humongous, I mean 250 blogs humongous. That's 250 opportunities for you to win some banned books (which also happen to be some of the best books out there). I've already espoused my opinion on this subject here and here (and not to go on about it, but the 2010 post was one of my better efforts), so I'll just say read a banned book today and grow your mind.



Next up is a submission opportunity at Big Pulp. I'm sorry I didn't throw this paying magazine out there sooner--the window is only open till the end of September! But if you have a fantabulous fantasy, horrid horror, mystical mystery, awesome adventure, super science fiction, or robust romance then you've got a chance at Big Pulp. (Just so you know, I've absolutely been slashing adjectives out of my manuscript, but it didn't seem right to waste all those perfectly fine modifiers. Not to mention adverbs.) And do let me know if you get accepted. I'd love to read your scintillating story!


And finally, if you've got a robust romance that is actually a full manuscript, then you might want to zip over to Mills and Boon New Voices. They're looking for a new voice in romance and they're giving away grand prizes, too. That is to say, the prizes are grand for the Top 20, but they also have one Grand Prize package. You have till October 10th on this opportunity but that doesn't mean you can dilly-dally about sending in that first chapter. Pull that manuscript out from under-the-bed and give it a polish. And please, let me know if you're over there so I can dash to your cozy chapter and give a comment!


That should keep you busting-out busy for the week. (And yay! I've used up my daily quota of adjectives.)

St. Francis de Sales, Patron Saint of Writers

Yes, I'm a little late for Finding Something Friday. But Sunday's a good day, too, don't you think?

A friend gave me a holy card of St. Francis de Sales because he's known as the patron saint of writers and journalists. I didn't know St. Francis de Sales was my occupation's patron saint, but I'm glad to have one. Most of the time, I call upon St. Anthony of Padua, who's the patron saint of lost articles. He is a very handy saint to have around, no matter how old you are, but he's been working overtime for me in the last couple years.

What I really loved about the holy card from my friend was the prayer on the back. It's commonly referred to as "Be at Peace." I think it's the perfect prayer for writers who often get anxious about so much that is beyond their control, and perhaps because we have the kind of imagination that easily gets out of control. But I also think it's the kind of prayer that comforts us all, at any time in our lives.


Do not look forward in fear to the changes of life;

Rather look to them with full hope that as they arise,
God, whose very own you are, will lead you safely
through all things;

And when you cannot stand it, God will carry you
in His arms.

Do not fear what may happen tomorrow;

The same everlasting Father who cares for you today
will take care of you today and every day.

He will either shield you from suffering or will give you
unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and
imaginations.


Now that I think about it, Sunday's the perfect day for a prayer--and peace to my writer friends!

Tuesday Tip on Revision: Adjectives and Adverbs

You know how you're in the middle of a conversation, or maybe a hot bath, and you have that moment when your eyes glaze over, or you drop the soap, because you've just had THE MOST BRILLIANT THOUGHT EVER?

That's how I ended up in the latest revision mode of my YA Southern, paranormal, comic, contemporary mystery. But this time, I had another brilliant thought. I would read, actually read, one of the writing craft books sitting upon my shelves. To wit, The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman.

So, I blew the dust off it (Okay, it's been sitting there for a couple years) and got to work. And as soon as I got to Chapter Two: Adjectives and Adverbs, I realized that, as long as I was revising, I might as well consider a few of Mr. Lukeman's suggestions:

* Cut back on adjectives and adverbs, especially in those spots where you might have a string of 'em.

*Replace tired, cliche adjectives and adverbs with sparkly and unusual ones.

* Make your verbs and nouns stronger so they can stand alone.

Well, I applied a couple of the end-of-chapter exercises to my first chapter and you know what? It's a better chapter, even if I do say so myself. So now I'm deep into the brilliant idea revision, but I'm also trying to keep in mind the tips from The First Five Pages.

Thanks, Mr. Lukeman. If my newly revised manuscript stays out of the rejection pile this time around, I owe you a big bouquet. (Make that an enormous bouquet!)

Finding Something Friday on Kickstarter

So I just watched those guys (and Barbara) over at the Shark Tank and bam! I remembered Kickstarter.

Kickstarter is a site where creative entrepreneurs can get pledges to fund their projects. But it's not just about rounding up a bunch of folks to donate money to a project; there are levels of investment whereby you, if you choose to kick something in, get a piece of the project pie.

Cool, huh? I thought I'd share it with you because you're writers and Kickstarter seems very friendly to writers with good ideas. Or at least a ton nicer than those guys (and Barbara) in the Shark Tank.

Short Short Fiction = Big Big Winning

Oh. My. 78 words. Can you write short fiction? 'Cause this contest is AMAZING.

The Aspen Writers' Foundation and Esquire Magazine want your short fiction. Not just any short fiction. Your 78 words of short fiction. Yes, it must be 78 words. 78 really amazing words.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Writing 78 brilliant words is tough. Really tough. But if you can pull it off, you can win something big. Really big. TEN writers will be flown to New York for a fiction workshop taught by Colum McCann. And the grand prize winner will win a full scholarship to the advanced fiction workshop at the Aspen Summer Words in 2012.

78 words. No entry fee. No fancy formatting. Just 78 winning words. (By October 7th)

Katie's Doll Gets Around (She's on a Mission!)

Yes, I know I'm too old for dolls, but there's something special about this little yarn cutie.

See, she came home and joined me outside while I enjoyed a quick read. I was busy checking out the blog of the girl who makes these yarn dolls. Her name is Katherine Mayhew, and I think she's twelve. When I was twelve, I spent an awful lot of time singing into a hairbrush and devising ways to meet The Monkees.

So right in the middle of reading about her mission to raise money for orphans in Africa so they can go on a field trip, I found my little yarn doll, swinging on the chandelier in the dining room. I don't think the orphans would approve of those shenanigans. Although if I'm honest, those kids have probably never seen a chandelier. I'm not even sure they have electricity in that village.

Anyway, I got her down from there--and couldn't help noticing what fine shape she was in. My, I said to myself, that Katie can really knit well. And didn't I see something about dishcloths? A person can never have enough dishcloths (especially if that person lives with the Beneficent-yet messy- Mr. Hall.) I should order some of those fine knitted wonders, too, I thought. But before I could get around to that, I had to find my doll. She was perusing my bookshelves, from the upside-down position.

Oh, that little stinker!

I had one more thing I wanted to look up, so I have my little yarn doll here, hanging out with me at the Hall of Fame, while I read about Katherine's Mission. I imagine Katie's going to need a lot of help to raise enough money for the orphans, but I have a feeling she'll succeed.

As for keeping up with those wild and crazy dolls, she's on her own.

Finding Something Friday: Cleopatra's Moon and Funnies

So, during the Random Acts of Publicity Kindness week, I've been sprinkling my promo fairy dust on Vicky Alvear Shecter and her debut novel, Cleopatra's Moon.

Now, honestly, Cleopatra's Moon has been getting rave reviews from lots of folks WAY bigger than me. And I know why. It's a great story, beautifully written, expertly told.

It's the tale of Cleopatra Selene, the only daughter of the Egyptian queen, Cleopatra, and the Roman general, Marcus Antonius. And the only child to have survived (of Cleopatra's four) to adulthood. History doesn't give us many details about this daughter, so Vicky rendered a story of what may have been.

There's much of the politics, as well as religion, of both of these powerful, ancient cultures. You'll get a love story, too, as Cleopatra Selene forsakes her own happiness in an attempt to gain a political advantage. But that's not the heart of the story. The heart lies with the mother and daughter and how complicated love can be as we struggle to make our way in the world, ancient or modern.

It was that touch of...unexpectedness that I enjoyed the most about Cleopatra's Moon. The way Vicky made an ancient story resonate with the same challenges we face today, as daughters, and yes, as mothers. So buy the book for your daughter or granddaughter. But make sure that you read it yourself.

And yes, I waited till the very end of the week to blog about this book. That's because on Friday, Vicky does a thing called Friday Funnies on her blog that always cracks me up. You don't have to be a history buff, or know a ton about the classics. You just have to enjoy a good funny.

(Hey, there's nothing in the Random Acts of Publicity Kindness that says I can't sprinkle promo dust on a book and a blog. Enjoy!)

Loving Random Acts of Publicity

There's something about Darcy Pattison's Random Acts of Publicity that I just love.

I'm not sure if it's the simplicity of the idea...that we can pick any method we like to publicize a friend's book. Or the idea that we can, in fact, help a writer friend out in such a simple but effective way. Possibly it's just because the word "random" is thrown in there. I've always liked random. Wonder what that says about me? Anyway, whatever the something is about Random Acts of Publicity, I love it!

Maybe you'll love it, too. If you have a friend who's recently released a book (or maybe not so recently--it doesn't matter!), why not give her or him a gift of publicity? Blog about it, link to it, like it on Facebook, review it, or talk about it, wherever, whenever you can. See how simple that is? And you should check out Darcy's blog for giveaways this week (you can sign up your friend's book for a chance to win all kinds of publicity packages).

The promotion's going on all week over at Darcy's place (and on the Facebook page). But you know what I'm thinking? Anytime is a good time for a random act of publicity. (Really. I love this idea!)

A Fun Writing Exercise (Thanks to Synchronicity)

I wish every writer and reader I know could make it to my area for the Decatur Book Festival on Labor Day weekend. It's total awesomeness. And it's all free. FREE.


Besides the TONS of authors who talk about their books and answer questions and autograph and mingle, the DBF also connects authors and other creative types with writers for an afternoon of workshops on the Friday before all the festivities. This year, I signed up for one called Synchronicity Theater's Playmaking workshop. Because a. I'm a ham. and b. it looked fun and different.


And you know what? It was fun. Rachel May led (okay, pushed) our stalwart little group into territories unknown to pull ideas out of our (no, I wasn't going to say that) boxed-up brains. Here are a few exercises to help jumpstart your writing ideas.


Choose character relationships. Not the same old, same old relationships. Think outside that box. Like the blue-haired lady who goes to the beauty salon and her teenaged hairdresser. Or the stay-at-home mom and the Fedex guy.


Create a setting. Of course, you can use a house, a school, a store. But you can also get descriptive. Maybe a house on a cul-de-sac in a subdivision that's experiencing a decline. Or a store that's had the same owner for 30 years.


Make something happen. Will someone lose their job? Will a character find something, like a an old love letter or a rock with blood on it?


So, now you have a who, what, and a where. Take that stay-at-home mom (maybe her husband travels) who lives on a cul-de-sac that's declining (because someone unsavory moved into the neighborhood) and have the Fedex guy (who's delivered packages every week for a year and fallen in love with a certain stay-at-home mom) drive up and find the woman he adores holding a rock with blood on it.


Hmmm...now why in the world is she holding that rock? The story practically writes itself. Maybe you'll even make that story into a book. And then you'll get it published! And you'll be one of the presenters at the Decatur Book Festival in 2012! We'll meet for drinks and it'll be so much FUN!

Hey. It could happen. (But just in case it doesn't, I'll happily meet you for lunch, dinner, or drinks at the next DBF if you decide to come. I'm sure the Beneficent Mr. Hall will treat.)

(And P.S. What I love about Synchronicity is their work with at-risk teen girls. You can read more here about their total awesomeness.)

Letter to a New Writer

Dear New Writer,

I was so excited when I saw you at the writer's group today! I know you were probably a little nervous, and I know how hard it was for you to read aloud what you'd written. But you took that first step, and good for you! You're on your way! I'm feeling downright Seussical!

Look at you go! Off to start your journey--and you're just about to bust with all the excitement of this new passion for writing! You have so much to say, and you can't wait to get all your words out there! Right now, you're busy creating and imagining and the ideas flow so fast, you can barely get them all on the paper. That's a great beginning!

I want you to remember that joy. I want you to grab hold to all those wonderful feelings and store them away. I wish you could have heard yourself gushing when you talked about what you're working on. Or seen your face lighting up as you jumped from one thought to the next!

I was so glad I was there, to see your bright, shining face, to hear the excitement in your voice as you shared your writing dreams. Because in those few moments, I remembered. That's why I love writing.

Thank you, thank you, dear new writer.