Finding Something Friday on Cup of Comfort Webinar

Everybody has a story. Everybody.

The thing is, some people are natural born storytellers, and some people, not so much. But that doesn't mean you can't learn the art.

I learned by writing a lot of funny, personal essays. And getting a lot of those essays rejected. I'd like to say that the rejections were the result of some editor not appreciating the scathingly witty tales of Cathy C. Hall. But I suppose that would be a...what's the word? Oh, yeah. Lie.

The truth is that I had to learn all the fundamentals. And that kinda took longer than I planned. But if Cup of Comfort had offered this webinar a few years ago, I might have jumped to the head of the essay class without all that banging of my thick head against the rejection wall.

Which leads to the email I found in my inbox. There it was, in black and white... Crafting a Narrative Essay:How To Apply Elements of Fiction to Your Non-Fiction Story. You can check it out here, at Cup of Comfort. You'll learn about pacing and dialogue, setting and structure, and all kinds of other helpful things you need to write your hilarious (or not so hilarious, if you wish) story.

And then, if you wish, you can sell it. 'Cause everybody likes to make a little money. Everybody.

Yeah, I'm Tooting my Horn on Wednesday. So, Sue Me

Where does the time go?

One minute, I had a list of things to do on Tuesday (including writing a Tooting My Horn post for the Hall of Fame) and the next minute, I'm out to lunch (literally, not figuratively). So, here's the post that would have been here yesterday if I hadn't been out to lunch (figuratively, not literally).

Last year, I met the most delightful young teen at the Decatur Book Festival (which is right around the corner). Sydney Ann Lewis was hawking The Vernacular, a publication of stories and poems by Atlanta high school students. The magazine had been produced in conjunction with The Wren's Nest, and all the work had been done by a staff of high school students, including Sydney. The more we talked, the more I was impressed. I thought I could sell her story. And happily, Encounter bought it.

Encounter Magazine loves stories about youth. They love stories written by teens, too. So, if you know a teen with an interesting story, why not go out to lunch and have a little chat? I heartily recommend it.

Finding Something Friday on Doing (That Sounded Better in My Head)

Since I shared Queen Cathy's Conference What Not to Do's, I thought it only fair to share what a writing conference does best. It makes you do. (Hmmm. That sounded better in my head, too.)

What I'm thinking about is that line from Jedi Master Yoda, "Do or do not. There is no try."

When you attend a writing conference, you talk to other writers, mostly about writing. You hear about their ups and downs, but mostly, you hear the success stories. And you listen to presenters tell their tales, and let's face it. They wouldn't be presenting if they hadn't succeeded in something writerly. Maybe you'll hear a long, winding tale of success. Or perhaps a tale of serendipitous success. But the moral of the story is the same: if you keep writing and working, you will succeed.

So, today I mailed a manuscript that I've been intending to send to an editor for months. Because when I stepped in to hear the conference presentation by Michelle Poploff (Random House Children's Books), I knew right then, the whole conference was worth those forty minutes or so. When I heard her tell her stories, of how other writers had found success, I thought that could be me. But only if I stopped thinking in terms of "try."

This Friday, I found something freeing, and a little scary. I found that it was time to do. So, I did.

What Not To Do Wednesday - If I Were The Queen of the Conference

So, I just returned from a weekend writer's conference. And for once, I'm not going to share my gaffes and foibles. That doesn't mean there weren't plenty of my what-not-to-do's running around. But today, I'm taking a look at the gaffes and foibles of the conference planners. If I were Queen of the Conference (and wearing a Doric column crown)...

A.) What's with all the food that's served at these conferences? I mean, I like food as much as the next writer, but I don't need to eat every hour. Of course, if there's food around, even if I'm stuffed, I'll belly up to the trough with everyone else. I guess the theory is that if I don't fill up on words of wisdom, I can at least fill up on Danish and cookies and fruit. Oh, and nuts. And juice, water, and cokes. And that trail mix stuff. Mmmmmm.

Queen Cathy would cut out half the food and take 20 bucks off the conference price.

B.) Ever notice how repetitive these conference sessions can be? The names of the sessions may change, but the content stays the same. For example, let's say you're a children's writer and you attend the sessions having to do with children's writing. Do you really need 4 people to tell you 1. join SCBWI? Or 2. read lots and lots of books in your genre? Or 3. no, Cathy, I will not read your manuscript? Okay, maybe some of us do need four people to reiterate a point.

Queen Cathy would work with similar-subject presenters to ensure that conference attendees get a variety of information. (Gosh, that sounded impressive, didn't it?)

C.) Raise your hand if you've sat in a session and wondered how that presenter managed to get booked. You know the folks I'm talking about...they wander around all kinds of topics, except the topic on the name of the session. You listen carefully at first, thinking any minute, you'll glean some earth-shattering gem. But then your eyes glaze over when he or she dives into the next long-winded story about, well, you have no idea 'cause you've stopped listening.

Queen Cathy would ask for an outline, a proposal, heck, even a sticky note, with the information that a presenter intends to present. And send volunteers to each session to keep an eye on things. And report back. With a detailed account of the presentation. (Um, like a spy. But not a spy, 'cause that's kinda tacky.)

D.) Every time I attend a conference, some poor presenter can't get the computer hook-up to work- and the complete presentation is on power point. Audio-visuals usually keep me awake. Waiting for the AV presentation to start? Not so much.

Queen Cathy would have the baddest techno geek in the world at the conference. Just in case.

Yes, indeed, if I were Queen of the Conference, things would be a lot different. Starting with my identity. I wouldn't want crazy writers coming after Cathy C. Hall with a list of what-not-to-do's.

Finding Something Friday: Contests! Book Giveaway! Cathy-on-a-Stick!

No time for chit-chat; it's straight to finding something...

First up, take a look at Writer's Journal Romance Contest here. Back in the day, I sent a story in to Write To Win!, an ongoing prompt contest. I didn't win, and of course, I had that typical wet-writer-behind-the-ears reaction. I could not believe that some judge would pass up the awesomeness of Cathy C. Hall's stories.

Ahem. Looking at one of those stories recently made me cringe. Cringe. Since then, I've had a chance to re-assess the Cathy C. Hall writing awesomeness and adjust accordingly. So, maybe I'll try Writer's Journal again. Maybe not the romance contest (deadline July 30th), but there's always some contest going on there (see the Contest Calendar here).

Now, if romance isn't your thing, you can check out the White County Creative Writers contests, 'cause there's a mess of writing contests to try. I have a favorite children's story to send, but honestly, the fees are so reasonable, I might send a mystery, too. Or a Love Bytes poem (not that loves bites around here, she said, as the beneficent Mr. Hall walked by). And thanks to Donna at the Book Pub for giving me the heads up about this contest.

What else? Oh, yes! Chynna Laird's I'm Not Weird, I Have SPD, is over at Finders & Keepers today for Peek-a-Book. She shared some great writing tips for getting into the world of a child, especially when that child has a special need. And she published through POD, and gives tips about that experience. So if you have questions for Chynna, or would like to win her book for someone special you know, drop in and leave a comment.

You might want to drop in on Cathy-on-a-Stick sometime today, too, for her latest shenanigans. You know, I should enter her in a contest. Best Pic-on-a-Stick, anyone?

Facts To Annoy Your Teacher (Yeah, That's the Ticket)

I may not have had much in the scathingly brilliant words department last week, but a lo-o-o-ng time ago, I wrote something scathingly annoying for the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series.

And just today, I got Facts to Annoy Your Teacher (For Kids Only) in the mail. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE books like this! I read bizarre stories and then file them away in the Cathy C. Hall Brain under "Fascinating Things to Know and Tell Your Friends and Family."

Now, I'll admit that up to this point, that file hasn't come in very handy. Unless you count all the times I've shared my stories with my friends and family. Which usually is more annoying than fascinating. Though to be fair, there is one Junior Hall who LOVES, LOVES, LOVES this kind of stuff. But there's one in the family (not to point any fingers, but I think you can all figure out exactly which Hall to whom I am referring) who seems to be rather unappreciative of these amazing factoids and brilliantly warped stories.

But I got paid for this brilliantly warped story, so that makes it all good. Just like Facts to Annoy Your Teacher. Go out and buy it for your kid. (But you should read it first. Then you can annoy your friends and family. Yeah, that's the ticket.)

Computer, Sweet Computer

I took Cathy-on-a-Stick on a little vacation, and hilarity ensued. But all play and no work makes Cathy C. Hall a dull girl. So, I checked my email here and there, just to keep up with business.

I used my dad's computer, and Mr. C. is quite generous when it comes to computer usage. But his computer is set to his specifications, and he has a different server, and oh, all sorts of stuff is different on his computer.

I try to work. I really do. But it's just not the same as my sweet computer. On my computer, the scathingly brilliant words seem to just flow from my fingertips. But on Dad's computer, or any other computer for that matter, the scathingly brilliant words dry up to a tiny drip, drip, drip.

So, I'm blaming my lack of scathingly brilliant words last week on CLD (Computer Location Dysfunction). Or is it just me?

Tooting My Horn Tuesday on Googling

It started innocently enough. I Googled myself once, just to see what would come up.

Then, I started Googling myself about once a week. Now, I can't go to sleep at night until I've Googled myself. Pathetic. But there's a rationale behind my narcissism. I mean, besides the obvious coolness of seeing "Cathy C. Hall" and Results numbering 214,000, give or take 200,000.

I like to see what I've been up to in the wide, wide web world. Today, for instance, I found my name leading the list of contributors to the Cup of Comfort Book of Christmas Prayer (Whee!). I thought my story would be in the book (due to be released in October, plenty of time for holiday shopping), but I don't like to count my contracts (or toot my horn) till I have intangible proof. So, finding that post on the Cup of Comfort Blog kinda made my day.

But there's more to Googling than coming upon surprises like that. Sometimes, I find my name mentioned on someone's blog. And then I like to scurry over and take a peek, maybe leave a nice comment. It's the polite thing to do...unless it's a bogus entry.

Yesterday, I noticed a peculiar Google result, with my name cavalierly thrown in amidst other names and words. Not writerly looking at all, at all. Hmmm, I thought, that's funny. But I wasn't laughing when I clicked on it and all kinds of crazy warning messages started opening.

Quick as a flash, I shut things down and proceeded to hyperventilate. What the heck? I suppose that's a new virus bait...throwing in someone's name randomly, hoping that the someone will click on the result and open who knows what.

So, vanity has its price. I got out safely. But I wanted you to be extra careful out there, Googling yourself. Not that you're in the habit, but, you know, just in case you've tried it...once or twice.

Finding Something Friday Before the Fourth

I love alliteration, especially in my blog posts titles. I also love books. And I'm really quite fond of old tombstones and epitaphs. So, I suppose today is all about "Things I Love." I love the Fourth of July, too. But I'll get to that in just a tick.

I found Susan K. Hom's delightfully edited little book, R.I.P. Here Lie the Last Words, Morbid Musings, Epitaphs & Fond Farewells of the Famous and Not-So-Famous, in a local bookstore, on the "Ridiculously Marked Down" table. I also love a good deal, so I can never pass by this table without finding something. And since this ever-so-cheap little book combined several things I love (a good deal, books, and cemetery stuff), I plunked out my pennies and dug in for some deep reading (Okay, I'm kinda fond of puns, too).

Did you know that writer Noel Coward's epitaph reads, "A Talent to Amuse"? Or that writer George S. Kaufman's tombstone is inscribed, "Over My Dead Body"? My favorite writer epitaph, though, belongs to Billy Wilder: "I'm a Writer but then Nobody's Perfect."

Funny stuff, true, but poignant entries, too. In the Famous Leaders and Historical Figures section, I came across the inscription on the Lincoln Memorial: IN THIS TEMPLE, AS IN THE HEART OF THE PEOPLE FOR WHOM HE SAVED THE UNION, THE MEMORY OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN IS ENSHRINED FOREVER.

I also found Samuel Adam's epitaph. For those of you who think of beer when his name is mentioned, you might be interested to know that he was, first and foremost, a political leader in Boston, leading up to the American Revolution. He wrote newspaper articles and essays, rallying the colonists against the Sugar Act and the Stamp Act. You remember that "no taxation without representation" line? Old Samuel was all about that sentiment. Here's his epitaph: "Here Lies Buried Samuel Adams, Signer of the Declaration of Independence, Governor of this Commonwealth, A Leader of Men and an ardent Patriot."

So, when you celebrate this weekend, think of Samuel Adams and all the patriots through the ages, who gave of themselves so that you could enjoy this fine, freedom-ringing, flag-waving, fireworks-glowing nation I love.

What Not To Do Wednesday on Writing Picture Books

If I'm being honest,I could write a book on what not to do when it comes to writing children's picture books. But I don't have that kind of time, and besides, Ann Whitford Paul's written a splendid book on exactly what to do when it comes to writing children's books.

And it just so happens that I'm giving away Writing Picture Books over at Finders & Keepers. So, even if you're not a regular reader over at F & K, if you've been mulling over a picture book idea, you might want to take a peek. Don't let this opportunity pass you by, grasshopper.

'Cause trust me when I tell you. That writing picture book thing? Waaaay harder than it looks.