Finding Something Friday Pushes YouTube (Like They Need A Push)

What I'm really pushing is you, I suppose, to get out there and explore YouTube. 'Cause I'm convinced that YouTube is the face of the future in marketing and promotion. Yes, even for writers.

This morning, I read in my PWDaily about a 91-year-old grandma, Clara Cannucciari, who's just garnered a book deal, thanks in large part to her YouTube and Facebook presence. Her grandson, Chris Cannucciari filmed her, cooking Depression-era dishes and talking about the lives and times of those difficult days. I couldn't believe what a great job this Italian grandmother did in this segment (see her Youtube video and be amazed!). And now the grandson's writing the book, Cooking With Clara.

I'm not very handy in the whole videocam world, but I think it's time to quit watching and start doing. My bud, Bill Elder, who has a terrific vlog (It's over there in my Favorite Detours), has snagged a ton of subscribers, and he's doing some slam-up promotion for his voiceover business. I need to apply what's left of my little gray cells and jump on that YouTube bandwagon. The sooner, the better. I ain't getting any younger, you know.

And for those of you who thought you might be too old for Facebook (Okay, I'm including myself), I have two (or four) words: 91-year-old Clara. Stand back, grandma, I'm jumping in!

The Cabbages and Kings Blogging Comment Contest

The time has come, says Cathy C. , to talk of many things. Of blogs, and comments, posts and such, and cabbages and kings.

I've been doing a bit of blog surfing lately, reading interviews, interesting posts, and commenting when I see something I like. So, I've gathered a few suggestions for blogging etiquette (and such).

Firstly, when someone comes by and leaves a comment, try to remember posting a simple "thanks for stopping by." Treat your guests royally, especially if your guest is new to the blog neighborhood. And most especially if your guest has left a comment so nice, you feel like a King (or Queen)!

Secondly, don't make it too difficult for a visitor to post a comment. It's one thing when a guest has to decipher the squiggly letter thingie. It's another thing entirely when a guest has to sign up with a server, fill out a half-page form, remember a new password, and promise the first born child before posting the teensiest comment. I know it's important to keep the bad old spammers away, but seriously? You don't want to keep the good guys away, too. Especially if you're hosting a blog tour-and the blog hostee can't post!

Thirdly, you might want to consider visiting a commenter who's visited you. Tit for tat, blog-speaking. It only takes a moment to share a little blog love.

I think that's it. Except for working cabbages in here, somehow. I've just always liked that part of Lewis Carroll's The Walrus and the Carpenter... Oh, I know! Leave me a comment with the word "cabbages" in it. Making relative sense, mind you. And I'll pick one of the comment writers to get the latest writing book I finished (Query Letters That Rock! It's autographed, and it's full of good query info).

Update: You have till the end of March to post your lovely cabbages comment. And I should probably add that Linda Formichelli and Diana Burrell penned the prize, Query Letters That Rock. You can read more of their fab tips if you visit The Renegade Writers (see my Favorite Detours). Those Renegade Writers Rock like Cabbages! (I just made that up-do you think it will catch on?)

Finding Something Friday on Patchwork Path

I've seen several writer friends mention Patchwork Path, an anthology of homespun stories based on different themes. The most recent call out is Friendship, which is a fairly basic theme that most writers can expound upon. So, I thought I'd spread the word for those of you who have a simply splendiferous essay about friendship.

You can find out all the do's and don't's if you take a look at the Patchwork Path website. You'll notice the payment is fifty dollars (whee!) and the deadline is March 31st (Oh, shazam!)So I'm sorry, but you really don't have tons of time to contemplate your friendship story. You only have time to write.

What Not To Do Wednesday with George Singleton

And now for someone completely different at What Not to Do Wednesday: acclaimed Southern writer,George Singleton.

George has a new book making a writing splash, Pep Talks, Warnings & Screeds, that's full of his writing What To Do's. So, really, he could have just slapped a "Not" in front of his witty wisdom and passed it along here. But George is a classy guy, so he came up with something completely different for the Hall of Fame. Read and learn, grasshopper.

George Singleton's What Not To Do

So I've been thinking about this topic for a week. Don't eat jelly sandwiches directly above your keyboard. Don't plagiarize. Don't threaten editors. If you know Russian or Chinese fluently, don't spend eight or ten pages of a novel wherein the characters only communicate in Russian or Chinese, just to show the reader how smart you are. Don't keep disposable safety razors anywhere near your writing desk.

But these seem obvious. What I want to talk about is how agents have evolved into believing that pre-blurbs are good things. Is this true? Good grief. Let me make it clear that when my editor for last couple books asked me, "Who would you like to blurb your book?" I said, "No one." I meant it. It's a slight pain in the butt, and most people I would ever like to write a book blurb, I knew, were busy writing their own novels or stories. If I didn't know the writer-and why would I want to bug a stranger?- I felt as though I would be invading his or her space. If the writer was a friend-gee, how many friends write blurbs for one another- I knew that he or she had enough things to worry about.

Here's a true story. I was asked to rate a writer's blurb-worthiness on a scale from A to F. We went through a bunch of A's : T.C. Boyle, Barry Hannah, and so on. I said, "What about Thomas Pynchon? What about J. D. Salinger?"

Then we went through people I knew, all of whom I said "C," because I didn't want to bother them. Then, finally, I was asked, "What about John Kennedy Toole?"

I waited for a while and listened to silence on the other end of the phone. Was I being tested? Did this PR person want to see what a rube I might be? I said, "He's dead."

She was silent for a while and then said, "You gave me his name."

I said, of course, "I DIDN'T GIVE YOU ANYBODY'S NAME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS LITTLE GAME." I said, "He committed suicide, maybe back in the late sixties, and his mother took the manuscript around-it's a famous publishing story."

She said, "Please don't tell anyone about this."

I said, "I'M TELLING EVERYONE. ARE YOU CRAZY?"

So that's the Regular World of the Blurb. And now it's come to the pre-blurb. In the World of the Pre-Blurb, agents send a manuscript around in hopes that another writer's initial glowing words will somehow transform an editor's "We're going to have to pass on this novel" to "Jeepers! If Blank says it's okay, then it must be okay! Maybe we can get Faulkner, Cheever and Flaubert to do real blurbs when the novel comes out!"

I use exclamation points sparingly. That's another What Not to Do-don't scatter exclamation points all over your manuscript as if you poured them out of an exclamation point shaker.

I've done a handful of these pre-blurb things. Some novels get published (and I don't think needed pre-blurbs) and some didn't. I do not-believe me-blame the writer. He or she almost has to say, "Okie-dokie, if you think it's a great idea, then send out the manuscript." What're you going to do, piss off the agent after you spent all that time trying to get one?

I can't wait to see what happens in the future: "What you need to do, while the fetus is still growing in your womb," the agent will say, "is get a bunch of writers to say what a great writer you'll be. You need some proof that you took enough folic acid, didn't drink or smoke, and played classical music on your belly. And then you need them to say how the kid will go to the best schools, and participate in the proper amount of extracurricular activities-to be well-rounded, you know- and so on. Then, when your child gets out of college we'll get him or her to write a novel. And the pre-pre-blurbs can be sent to pre-blurbists, so that editors will want the novel. And then they'll offer a contract, and get going on rounding up some real blurbists."

No wonder the publishing industry struggles as of late.

So my What Not To Do Wednesday lesson, I suppose, is not expect any kind of rational, logical behavior when it comes to getting published. And don't call an ear, nose, and throat doctor when you find a scar on your tongue-it's from having to bite it so often.


Thanks, George. I didn't even know there was such a thing as a pre-blurb. Imagine all the other writer-ly wisdom you're going to get from Pep Talks, Warnings & Screeds. Plus, now, I'm kinda hooked on George. I need to read one of his other books. He's published four collections of short stories, two novels, and tons of short stories in magazines and literary journals.

To tell the truth, George sent me a copy of his scathingly brilliant book. And I'd really like to give it away to someone who comments today. But here's the thing: This is a book with pep talks! Warnings! Screeds! It's the sort of book every writer needs sitting by his/her desk when the going gets tough and you're doodling tattoo ideas on your forearm (or maybe that's just Cathy C. Hall). So, I'm not sure I can part with my book. But George has very graciously agreed to part with more of his writer-ly wit and wisdom today. He'll be hanging about, ready to dispense advice to anyone who stops by with a question.

Didn't I tell you he was completely different?

Miscellaneous Monday on Elton John and Billy Joel AND George Singleton

Thank you, thank you, thank you to Elton and Billy for a totally awesome show, for sounding like you did when I was young and twenty, and for singing songs that I could sing along with, out loud, and not get yelled at by the people around me.

I know what you're thinking: what does the Elton John, Billy Joel concert have to do with anything writing-related? Isn't this just a blatant excuse for Cathy C. Hall to say "nah-nah-na-pooh-pooh, I saw Elton and Billy and you didn't"?

It just so happens that the duo sang a few Beatles songs, which makes me think of the Fab Four, including George Harrison. Which reminds me that George Singleton will be here Wednesday in the continuing educational writing series, What Not To Do Wednesday. You do not want to miss that awesome, not to mention fab, post!

So there. Never let it be said that I would mention seeing Elton John and Billy Joel and their freakin' amazing show just to gloat.

Finding Something Friday on Daily Booth, Ralan's and President Obama

Found some interesting things this week, so no time to dilly-dally about...

A big Thanks and shout out to my techno-genius bud, Bill Elder, who told me about Daily Booth. It's a social network that prompts you to catalog your life, one day at a time, through pictures of your face. That's right, your face. Kind of like the picture booths you see in the malls, only it's online and allows you to hook up and network with other Daily Boothers and their faces. I have a fantabulous idea for this application, sort of with my face, but not exactly with my face (because even though I am cute as a button (see my face), it takes work to get me looking this cute. Who's got time for that every day?) So stay tuned! And check out Daily Booth if you just can't get enough of yourself.

But if you're not so much into pictures, you should check out Ralan's, a fantabulous site filled with markets, contests, anthologies and such. I used to check Ralan's on a regular basis, but then my computer went AWOL (Is she still harping about that? Yes, she is.) and I lost all my bookmarks. Slowly but surely, I'm getting them back where they belong. And thank goodness I remembered Ralan's, 'cause the markets and such are of the speculative fiction variety (one of my faves for short stories) AND the humor variety (Coincidentally, another big fave). So, if humor and spec fiction is on your Writing To Do List, then zip over to Ralan's.

And finally, I came across a little tidbit about President Obama and his tweetin' while he was on the campaign trail. Really? The President on Twitter? Seriously? With all that man has to worry about and he's busy coming up with 140 character tweets??? Wonder if he's still tweetin'? 'Cause if he is, I'm definitely signing up with Twitter.

Then I can say, "Oh, yeah. Me and the President...we're like this (picture my face, cheek to cheek with you-know-who)."

What Not To Do Wednesday on Skipping (Not the Running Skipping )

You know how on Thanksgiving you skip breakfast so you can really stuff yourself when dinner comes around? It's all about leaving room for the delicious turkey, gravy, dressing, crescent rolls and pecan pie. You don't want to fill up on cereal or scrambled eggs on Thanksgiving. You're holding out for the really good eats.

So, I'm skipping WNTDW today so you'll be ready to stuff yourself when George Singleton comes around next week to guest post on WNTDW. I'm leaving room for all of his writing wit and wisdom. No filling up on one of my more idiotic writing gaffes, grasshopper. You'll want to come back for the really good lessons from a master (in writing, not writing gaffes).

Then you can gobble up his delicious What Not To Do's. And I'll be hanging out in the kitchen, waiting for the thank yous.

Miscellaneous Monday on Neil Gaiman

The last time I went to the library, I was absolutely determined to get a Neil Gaiman book.

Every time I see a new book by him, I think, gee, I'd like to read that. That started about five years ago, give or take a year. It's taken me this long to remember Mr. Gaiman after arriving at the library. And now, he's this incredibly huge author (not fat-huge, popular-huge) and his books are on an incredibly long wait list. I despise waiting for a book. So, I checked out one of his older books called Anansi Boys.

I was immediately sucked in by the story and loved the way Mr. Gaiman weaved fantasy with reality. The fantasy part dealt with Anansi, the tricky spider character from old African stories. And the day I finished reading the book, I woke up with the most incredibly strange itching on my back. I nearly wrenched my neck out of its socket to see the small of my back from whence the itching came. And then I saw it: four pink spots on my previosly unblemished back.

"What is that on my back?" I asked the benficent Mr. Hall as he sprayed anti-itching stuff on the now huge, red welts. And then, suddenly I knew. They were spider bites. Big, old, incredibly itchy spider bites.

Coincidence? I think not.

(P.S. Condolences to Mr. Gaiman on the recent loss of his father. You can read about his other books, which you won't be able to check out from the library, at his website here.)

Oh, and thanks to aussiegall at flickr.com for the incredibly cool dancing spider.

Finding Something Friday on a Saturday Night

I'm not going to make a whole bunch of excuses about missing Finding Something Friday. I'm just going to dive into what I found yesterday (but didn't quite get around to sharing.) And I'm going to thank Beth Cato for bringing this contest back to my attention.

You know how I love the contests sponsored by Writer's groups. This contest, sponsored by the Ligonier Valley Writers, is a particular favorite of mine. And not just because I won a little Fortune the last time I entered it. I love this contest because it's Halloween themed, and the winning entries are read at a bookstore and at the local library in conjunction with a Haunted Storytelling Time. So, if you win, it's Fame and Fortune! I'm getting a little tingly just thinking about it.

This year's Flash Fiction Contest wants a little something, something about shapeshifters or werewolves, 1,000 words or less, and delivered by August 15th. No entry fee, too. Check out the Ligonier Valley Writer's website here to get the rest of the details. And if you want to read one of the winning entries from last year, you can go to Beth's website here for her take on zombies and breakfast foods.

So, time to start writing that creepy Halloween tale now! No, um, excuses.

The Mail! The Mail! Cup of Comfort for New Mothers Arrives

One good thing about being busy, busy, busy, is that I completely forget about everything else going on in my life. So, I was stunned...well, maybe not stunned...I was shocked...um, shocked doesn't quite work either. Let's just be cliche and say "surprised." But I was very surprised to get my copy of Cup of Comfort for New Mothers!

It's just that I don't like to count my publication credits before the book arrives. 'Cause sometimes, a book never gets published. It falls into the black hole of Forgetaboutit Land. But not Cup of Comfort! No, sir! My story, "The Mom Memory Lapse," was right there, on page, um, let me check...295.

Gee. Wonder if "The Mom Memory Lapse" almost didn't make the cut in a Cup of Comfort for New Mothers? Or maybe it was just so splendiferous, the editor (Colleen Sell) put it toward the very end to build up to the wonderfulness of it all?

I'm going to go with the splendiferous build up scenario. So, here's my story, in the latest C of C book, and really, I was surprised. But then, I was surprised to find a load of wet clothes in the washer (from a week ago).

Much To Do About Marketing, Writer Mama, and Cats and Dogs

Normally I'd wax poetic about the snow we had in Georgia because that's what Southerners do. But I've got too much writer-y stuff to catch up on, and too many interesting Things to Do for you.

Thanks to speaker Shelli Wells' tips at the Springmingle conference, I've got a few tweaking tasks, like my website and my kiddie lit blog. If there's one thing that everybody harped on all conference long, it was marketing yourself. You can check out Shelli's Market My Words and get a few of those tips for yourself. And read all about her "Comment Your Butt Off" Contest and how you can win a free website building consult from Shelli.

If you weren't the lucky winner in my Writer Mama Giveaway, you should scamper over to Christina's Writer Mama blog and find out where she's giving away a copy of her book today. Every day in March (Yes, every day) she's giving her book away on a different blog. Seriously, Christina Katz is a marketing machine.

And, finally, maybe you're like me and thinking about doing some actual, er, writing. I've got to get to work on my "what I learned from my dog and cat" stories for those Chicken Soup books (Stories due March 31st). It's going to take some serious thinking to come up with anything I learned from Sally the crazy dog. I mean, let's be honest. I already knew how to be crazy.

Okay, maybe I've got time for one snow picture. But no waxing poetic.